Las cuerdas resuenan en tus suspiros, tu boca muerde las teclas, y tu lengua se equilibra entre las notas. El aire sigue usandote, interrumpiendo debajo de la ropa, violandote caballerosamente. Ves tu hoja en blanco invitandote a llenarla, ves el reflejo en el agua de colores enegrecidos, ves dentro de ti las entrañas enredadas; quisieras y ya no estas seguro de que quisieras, entre las quimeras causadas por varias intoxicaciones, las arrogancias de tus metas escritas en post-its, las alucinaciones de las 3am, los lamentos en el fondo de la botella y tus casi inaudibles pensamientos, ya no estas muy seguro de saber que quieres y que detestas.
Asi empezamos todos, con excentricidades a los lados (por que creemos que ser distintos nos hace originales), con nuestros ojos enrojecidos (de tanto llorar o fumar despues de gritar que no nos entienden), con esa angustiante desesperacion de no saber que hacemos.
El sentido siempre será el contrario y tu siempre tendras la inaptitud de no adaptarte, no hay reglas para las cosas fortuitas y las consecuencias tienen ese orden alaetorio. Intentas llegar a la logica de todo, seguir el patron, ponerle una razon y un sentido a esta serie de problemas, razones, causas, dependencias y problemas mentales.
¿Que logica se le puede encontrar a este loco endomoniado que mueve nuestras fichas? ¿Que sentido se le puede poner a la inestabilidad de unas palabras mal pronunciadas? ¿Que orden existe en un infinito mar de ideas tragiversadas por actos malentendidos y besos encapsulados?
Y solo te ahogas en la frustrante idea de querer saber que es eso que tanto buscas, que buscas entre las risas actuadas, el olor a coladera, el ardor en la garganta, el frio en las mañanas, los 47 escalones, los ojos almendrados, la cafeina despues de la comida, los ombligos pequeños, el sabor a amaretto y el sexo a las 5 de la tarde.
No sabes que quieres y crees que todos los saben menos tu, crees que todos se dirigen al trabajo pensando en aquello que quieren esta vez, crees que el que te acompaña en el elevador tiene una vida bien planeada y que aquel que paso delante tuyo en la fila del banco sabe exactamente lo que hace... Iluso tu que crees ser un inadaptado en un mundo con direccion, ingenuo tu que crees que alrededor todos llevan un sentido, pequeño tu que crees que algo, algo en todo esto puede tener algo más que solo una fortuita locura, un sinsentido y unos dados lanzados al azar.
Sin reglas, sin patrones, sin logica y todos seguimos de pie, todos empezamos asi y terminamos por aceptar nuestro mundo desquiciado, nuestra gente paranoica, y a nuestro pequeño psicopata.
Y si al final de todo esto, este examen tal vez lo hizo alguien con un coeficiente intelectual mucho mas alto? y quien sabe, tal vez el caos si sea perfecto y tus labios se humedezcan por una razon entre mis sueños, y el aire te use para algo y yo este sentado aqui diciendo todo este disparate para decir algo importante... quien sabe.
24 comentarios:
Los besos de verdad tiran sangre como miel blanca los meloneros donde las abejas cuelgan sus casa.
Tenía besos de verdad, tenìa mi vida arreglada y la arruine. deje que los ratones se metieran a nustra alcoba de trigo a hacer Ra tonera o jazz o no se. Perdon por haberla hecho entrar al juego de la baraja helada, la de los naipes frios y ojala niña castaña no se me haga tarde para tener el valor de levantarlos antes de que se queden pegados como la lengua a la paleta de agua. ATT. el serenisimo en indispuesto archiduque del niquel y las formas romas. GERATHUS DAE ANDEONIMBA para proveerle màs situciones incomodas en esta y otras posterioridades.
"Y solo te ahogas en la frustrante idea de querer saber que es eso que tanto buscas..." una posible verdad absoluta.
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